On Monday night, the long awaited day had finally come. I’m not talking about anything too crazy, but my wife, Chelsey, and I had waited since August for this day to arrive. You see, she loves Papa John’s pizza – I know it’s not everyone’s favorite and in fact people rag on it pretty regularly, but it’s one of her favorites and when made right it is really good – and they offer 50% off your order when the NFL team in your region wins.
I think you can see where this is going…
We finally got a pizza on Monday night for 50% off because the Bengals won their first football game on the season.
At the beginning of the season we had decided when the Bengals win, we’ll get the 50% off deal the next day. We both love pizza and carryout pizza is at a reasonable price to begin with. Add the half off and we’re definitely in.
Well, week after week we watched the Bengals consistently lose. Sometimes in an absolute abysmal way. Sometimes in a harsh close loss. Sometimes in a way that was not even fathomable. But the reality is that they lost…and we didn’t get pizza.
Now we definitely ate pizza during this time frame, just on various days and from different restaurants, but it’s the principle of the matter!
We joked about how other regions in the United States were getting their half off pizza, that they knew what a great deal it was. Some places such as Kansas City, Baltimore, Boston, San Francisco and New Orleans are probably sick of eating Papa John’s pizza since their team wins so much.
But anyways, on December 2, we finally got our pizza. It came the day after the Bengals defeated the New York Jets for their first win on the season, improving to 1-11.
So we feasted.
But, this raises another question, one that must be addressed. For twelve straight weeks, excluding the bye week of course, we watched the Bengals lose. The first time they win…we weren’t watching.
We were on the tail end of our Florida trip, which we take every Thanksgiving to visit my wife’s sister and brother-in-law. We missed the game because we were out kayaking with manatees. Well, the manatees never showed up so that was a bummer. But the end story is that we weren’t able to watch the game.
So you’re probably thinking…maybe we should stop watching the Bengals and they’ll win out or something. Nope, I’m taking a different approach, one that is a little more Orange and Blue.
I wrote not one, but two articles earlier about how FC Cincinnati only won games when we were out of the state (and country!).
They won two games while we were in the Caribbean and won again when we were in Pennsylvania. Now it took all the way until we went to Tampa Bay for the Bengals to get their first win.
Why do the Cincy teams win games when we’re not in the state??
Now, if you have read my posts from this situation on FC Cincy, you know where I’m going with this. You know what I’m about to argue for.
The Bengals should pay for my family to live in Tampa Bay.
Tampa. St. Pete. Clearwater. Bradenton, Largo, Pinellas Park, Seminole, Palm Harbor, Safety Harbor, Oldsmar, Brandon, it doesn’t matter where as long as we’re in Tampa Bay.
It’s basically science at this point! Everytime we leave the state, the Cincy team wins! So if the Bengals or FC Cincy or maybe even the Reds at this point want to win games, win playoffs games, win the championship in their respective sports, they should pay for us to live elsewhere.
Preferably somewhere warm, like Florida.
Look, Tampa Bay is perfect. Warm weather, beaches, two great cities to find activities to keep us preoccupied. And when the Bengals play the Buccaneers we’ll come out and support.
The season is lost at this point, but if we start to plan for next season, we can probably get the Bengals to win that Super Bowl trophy.
If all the Cincy teams combine their money together, we could get a nice beach house in Clearwater Beach or Madeira Beach or on any of the beautiful beaches down there. I will even invite some of the players to come chill during the offseason. But we can potentially bring a championship to Cincinnati if we try this out.
FC Cincy and the Reds start in the spring so we should probably get on this sooner rather than later. As with what I said with the Orange and Blue, it’s not necessarily set in stone that it’ll work, but there is important data to back it up.
It is certainly worth a shot at trying out!
Who Dey gonna pay for me to live in Florida? The Bengals!